An unending cascade of emotions often follows a loss that can make a person feel as if one day just blurs into another. Sense of time is lost and the body is weary from the constant ache of trying to grip the reality of the absence. Day to day routines are now a struggle and it seems as though no matter how hard it may be for you, the busy chaotic lives of others just keep happening as usual. Is there no justice for the loss that you feel? Is there no way to scream at the world and tell it to please stop and understand the void that will be present for the rest of your life?

Understand that even though you may not receive validation from the world around you for the loss that is exhibiting itself as an unfortunate best friend, you can control your own personal grieving space. Let the world go on around you, in spite of the absence you feel while searching for peace as you manage your loss.

 

Being Okay With Death

What? How is it possible to be "okay" with death? How am I supposed to accept such a terrible consequence and cruelty of life? My love was stripped away from me so quickly and unexpectedly and you want me to be okay with it?

Acceptance of a loss is not admitting that you are okay with the events of the loss or with the obvious open void that has been left behind. In order for there to be some type of loss management, if there really is such an assuring concept, being able to admit an understanding that a beloved person or pet in your life is no longer able to receive your affection or attention, is necessary in order to step onto that proverbial stone of a new day. This new day is met with moment shattering awareness that you feel a deep, dark absence which cannot be quenched with material things, new relationships or even memories for that matter, for memories only cause more pain when you realize they will never be duplicated in real time, ever again. 

One day at a time, one step at a time, one moment at a time - however small the increments are for you, understand that it is okay to acknowledge you are feeling a loss for what can never be filled by another. 

A resource for pet owners in New Jersey

There has been an increasing number of families who have come to Forever Remembered with the same story. Their young pets have passed after eating the same kind of dog food. For a pet owner, this is a tragic, unnecessary result of poor quality control on behalf of companies that produce pet foods. 

As pet owners, it is increasingly important to make sure you read labels and understand what the ingredients are in pet food. If the label says things like "animal digest" or "by-product" or even "made in China" please use caution when purchasing any type of food with these ingredients for your furry pet family members.

There are many pet food recipes on the internet as well as more reputable companies that make organic - grain free pet food. Google is your friend and can provide a wealth of information. Amazon is yet another great source for reading reviews on pet products and understanding the ingredients.

In New Jersey, pet owners may have yet another resource for when their pets become ill from food that has been tainted due to poor quality control. Please check out this link and watch for further information.

http://www.totalinjury.com/news/articles/state-personal-injury-laws/pet-product-liability-lawsuits.aspx

Memories of Loss

Loss can happen in many forms. It can be peaceful and expected, a relief from constant suffering, or it can be tragic and forever haunting. Whatever type of loss you may have experienced, the memories are often attached to the senses which in turn trigger thoughts of that particular moment in time. A certain smell, touch from a friend, hearing a particular song or even taste of a favorite food can be all that is needed to begin reliving the events surrounding the loss.

Dealing with loss is difficult. The circumstances that cause you to remember it cannot necessarily be controlled, however,  how you deal with the memory belongs to you. Your reaction to the memory is yours and yours alone.

Whatever misguided words of comfort some may give, remember that they generally mean well and are usually uncomfortable with how to act and respond to your sadness.

Take comfort for today is a new day, another day to remember, another day to feel, another day to live and another moment in time to make memories with those who are living.

I Miss You

For those who are dealing with loss...

http://youtu.be/CVtYHL5nK4Q

I wish you peace

The events of life often bring chaos and confusion. We hope this song brings you comfort and most of all - peace. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPP1RloLQC0

Please stop telling me how to grieve

The sorrow and sadness that accompanies a loss can be so overwhelming that seeing the light from the place of despair can feel like an impossible task. When tears follow every waking memory of a loved one or pet that has passed, regardless of whether a person is in public or private, judgement from a supposed friend or acquaintance can be damaging. "Why are you still crying? He was just a dog," or "She died last year, haven't you gotten over it yet?"  Insensitive comments such as these only serve to push the griever into a lower place of self worth and depression. 

Some survivors are able to emerge from the pit of despair in a few weeks, while others may take months or years. When complicated grief takes over and a person's physical well being is affected, a professional approach should be sought. Most people however,  just need time and space and sometimes a new focus.

Please stop telling me how to grieve and how to feel. Your silence is important.