Forever Remembered Pet Cremation and Memorial Services

Friday, August 15, 2014

What's so important about a higher standard of care?

I have often been asked "What does it mean to have a higher standard of care?" It means that we treat every pet that we are given the honor for which to care, the dignity and respect of a completely private cremation. "Semi - private cremation" is not completely private cremation. "Group or communal cremation" is not private cremation. Private cremation means only one animal at a time being put into the cremation chamber, and the cremains of that animal being collected and gathered when the cremation is done. 

Having a higher standard of care in any line of business, may mean less income. However, what a customer will always know when they choose a business with a higher standard of care is a receipt of  the utmost attention and detail in the service they are given with no lingering doubts as to whether or not they should have gone elsewhere.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

The Memory is Mine

When we have lost a loved one or a pet, sometimes certain things make us remember a particular memory that we shared. It may be the smell of apple pie that reminds us of Mom, or the smell of the ocean that reminds us of Grandpa who loved to go ocean fishing. Sometimes just the wind blowing on our face can bring a wave of remembrance of a departed one, which may also bring with it the feeling of loss and sadness.

Whatever the memory that is attached to the loss, the fact remains that it is yours. The memory belongs to you and you are the master controller of how it affects your overall well being. 

That which is owned by the self, cannot be so easily manipulated by others unless we allow the intervention to mentally change the foundational aspect of the memory. A smell, a touch, a taste, a sight or a sound heard is attached to that memory which controls how we emotionally respond when the memory is reproduced in our mind.

Whatever your memory of a deceased loved one may be, it is yours, to keep and to hold for as long as you wish.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

A terrible year

"Man, what a year. My mother died a few months ago, my cat died last month and now my dog passed away in his sleep last night," she said to me with tears on the phone. "Why does everything have to happen all at once?" 

What could I say to her that would make her feel any better? How could I justify so many losses in such a short period of time? I felt helpless, which is normal for me in my profession, but sometimes I get frustrated because there really is no answer as to why death seems to happen "all at once." 

Some often say that death happens in "3's". Is this true? Loss can come in many forms. It could be in the form of a lost job, an unexpected divorce, or the news of a terminal illness. Loss can be felt in many ways and often it seems like devastating things happen one right after another.

How does one cope? What kind of advice can be given that will help to ease the pain? I often find myself patting someone on the back and just being silent and allowing them to vent. It's really not much, but for those who are hurting it could be just what is needed to make it through the rest of the day.

It's hard not to pick up the burdens of others as if they were our own. We wish that we could help them carry their load and make things easier, but the reality is that each person must go through life one day at a time, somehow managing to find the inner strength to keep going.

Silence and a listening ear can be the balm that eases the pain of loss. 

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Let it go

It's not easy being a funeral director, especially when families are dealing with the loss of a loved one. Often the grief that is experienced for a pet is the same if not more than what is experienced for a human. I am often struggling as to how to help ease the hurt without sounding cliché or insincere.

There is no "normal grief experience." Some may not grieve until weeks later when the shock of the whole ordeal begins to wear off and the reality of the loss hits like a ton of bricks. Some may be able to grieve for a short time while others may take years to not cry at the very thought of the event.

Grief comes in many forms and no matter what type of psychological label it is given, the reality is that it hurts. How a person grieves should not be up for scrutiny but rather accepted as indicative of his or her own personal grief response mechanism.

Our American culture has conditioned us to grieve in a socially acceptable manner that does not intrude upon the perimeter of another person's space. Grieving in the closet where mournful tears of sadness are kept behind closed doors is that which the American society accepts as the norm. When loud cries of loss are heard across the room our attention is often taken to the place where we are made to feel uncomfortable and may even have to leave the room in order to gather our prudent, stoic countenance.

I challenge those with this mentality to refrain from placing judgement on those who may not have the "normal grief response."

Let it go.